Don’t like your present life? You have the God-given ability to change it. Now, that’s a gift we all have been given.

Now this is interesting. While we can’t change the past or predict the future, we can change the present life we are living. We have the choice, every single day, to do what we’re doing.

I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m writing from home because I was so inspired that I quit my “other” job to pursue my dream of being a full-time fiction writer. I would love to say that I’m going to edit all of the negativity out of my life once and for all… and live happily ever after for the rest  of my life.   Of course, it’s not that easy. There are real life issues when it comes to living the present.  Personal issues, family issues and… well, life itself crowds the every day agenda.   If we could all just do what we wanted to do every day, it would be nice, but that’s not realistic.

This brings us to a logical question: What can you take out of your present to make your life more of what you want it to be? Believe it or not, there are things you can change to make your world more of what you want it to be. Too often we settle for things as they are, assuming that is how they have to be. They don’t. You have the God-given ability to cut things out : negative people, bad places, unhealthy activities and habits, and whatever it takes in order to improve your current life’s story. Just as when you’re editing the written word,  it’s not easy to cut things out, but it can be accomplished.

This is what we need to do in real life though… edit. When you’re writing your life, you can’t have everything in the story or it gets cluttered and chaotic. What’s important to you? Give your own story strength of character and integrity of personal choices.  You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own actions!

The past may be gone and the future might be uncertain, but we have the power to choose our “ now.” GET ON IT!

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by Sue Brown/ SpiritUnbroken the Blog (c)

As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG… SPIRIT UNBROKEN, I am often asked how others, my readers, can become “happier” in their own lives. In the next few weeks, I will share things that I have said “yes” to and that has helped me to become happier in my own life. Just by picking a few of these ideas, you too will be on the track to being more content and happier overall. I do not have all the answers, but as I age and look back on my own wins vs. losses things become clearer and worth passing along.

Being Imperfect Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach and ultimately lowers your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life even though they might be going very well indeed. “Perfectionism” for yourself eats at you and your happiness. Embrace your own imperfectness.

Believing in perfection Often we actually believe what we see about relationships and families by watching “perfect families” and “how love should be” on television and in the movies. It looks so good and wonderful and you want it for yourself. Best-selling authors capitalize on this formula over and over again. However, in real life, it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects, etc. just because your expectations are fiction. It is very useful to remind yourself: No one has it all in spite of outer appearance! I know this for a fact.

Go for good Aiming for “perfection” usually winds up in a project or something else progressing very slowly or never being finished at all. Perhaps, go for good instead. Warning: Don’t use “good” as an excuse to slack off. Simply realize that there is something called “good” and even “very good” and that’s not a bad thing.

Being Yourself Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others, or censoring yourself doesn’t feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited. Supportive people. Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values, and you as a person. Or at least people who are not antagonistic and negative. Try spending less time with people who normally criticize you.

Supportive and life-expanding experiences. Change your environment from time to time. Go further and spend more time with sources of information that support your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier. Accordingly, spend less time with negative and limiting influences.

Things you like It is important to find some time and energy for the things that make you come alive. Mix it up. Try something new, even if it is just something small, each week. Eat a vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your norm. Go out to a movie, café, or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Perhaps it’s the other way around. If you are someone who surrounds themselves with others, try spending quality time… alone. Creating variation and expanding your comfort zone regularly in small ways, is key to living a happier life. Boredom creates contempt. Reconnect. If you used to go fishing, paint, or play the guitar and it really made you come alive… then discover it again. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.

Be Optimistic Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none. Ask questions. When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and help you to find solutions. For example: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? Or what is the opportunity within this situation?

Start off positive. Good influences in your life can make a huge difference. Therefore, start your day off with positive things: A good breakfast, a form of exercise you enjoy, reading, or praying… if only for a short time. You get the idea!

Forgiveness. Forgiving is not always easy and can take time, but there are some things that can make it a little easier. You forgive for you. As long as you don’t forgive someone you are forever linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did…. over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and, as a result of your inner turmoil, and often in other people around you too. When you forgive, you release yourself.

Make a habit of forgiving yourself. Do not just forgive others, but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or years ago, you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

Don’t just take the word “happy” for granted. Live it, practice it, and you too shall become it. HAPPY… in life, work, and relationships.

Be Who You Were Meant to Be

By Sue Brown http://www.Spirit Unbroken the Blog

We all want to learn how to live a happy life.  For a long time I wondered what it took to be sincerely happy and have inner peace.  As I pursued money, relationships, and career success, I thankfully realized that happiness doesn’t come from the outside; happiness comes from within each of us.  Eureka!

It is something that is present all the time within you and me.  Imagine the layers of an onion being your negative beliefs, thoughts, and fears. As we peel away the layers, (what you are not), we eventually reach the core (who you really are). We are all here on Earth to find meaning and purpose. I love this positive thought.

Learning how to live a happy life is not about locking yourself in a closet and meditating for the rest of your life. We as human beings are designed to set and achieve goals, so we need goals to feel fulfilled. These are all only a piece of the pie of living a happy life, but we have to keep in mind that it is not the external things in our lives that make us happy, but rather what is going on inside of us.

MAKING the CHOICE TO CHANGE

It all begins with the choice to be happier, to start studying the commonalities of “happy people.”  What are they doing? How do they think? How do they face challenges?  Most people want something for nothing.  If your life isn’t as good as you want it to be right now, you are the only one that can change it for the better. I repeat… the only one.

We have to become clear about what we want in life and who we want to be.   We do not have to settle for mediocrity. Almost every limit in our lives we set ourselves.  Think about that for a moment.  Most of the negative beliefs we have, we have learned from society, friends, and even parents.

These beliefs can all be eliminated.  We can take control of our own destiny and be happy.  We can shape our future, to be healthy and productive.  Now, I do realize that we can’t “control” everything in life, but we certainly can create a happy life if we choose to.

 Taking Responsibility

You alone are responsible for your life. You may think you have “valid” excuses/ reasons of why you’re not as successful or happy, as you should be.  Guess what?  Our excuses don’t matter, because they won’t change anything.  Do you want to give your excuses the power of controlling your life?  Or do you want to reclaim the power that you’ve always had?  It is God-given to all of us.

We can whine, blame, and make excuses all we want, but it will only keep us stuck. If we look at some of the happiest and most successful people, you will notice that most of them did not come from privileged backgrounds.   In fact, many of them had to face brutal challenges in order to get to where they are. The ironic thing is that it wasn’t their problems or challenges that held them back from a happier life.  The drama and problems we face in life, can help us grow as human beings if we have the courage to face them and get through them.

 Personal Growth

Learning how to live a happy life is about learning how we work.  It is up to us to take control of our own being.  By that I mean our thoughts, our health, and the path we follow.  We can go after dreams and we can make a living doing what we want if we just make the decision to do so.

It really isn’t any harder than that.  Learning how to live a happy life… almost happens on its own when you make the decision that you are going to be happy and not miserable.

 Goals

When we make the decision to be happy, the next step is to set clear goals of what we want to achieve in each of the main areas of our life.  The main areas in life are: health, work, relationships, and personal growth!

Use the SMART criteria, which stands for:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Realistic
• Timely

I used these in teaching and my students would later contact me and say they still found them powerful in their chosen careers, personal lives, and future goals. Go teaching outside the box!

Metaphorically, many choose to sit in the passenger seat of the “car” that is their life. They let the car go where it wants to go and then complain when it ends up in a wrong place or worse yet, a ditch!  Successful and happy people take control of the wheel and steer the car where they want to go.

Small Steps

Never underestimate how much you can accomplish just by taking one single step, each day, toward your goals.  Learning how to live a happy life is about focusing on the tasks that have the biggest impact on your life.  It is up to us to focus on changing our individual habits and beliefs.

When we set goals, we then know the direction we need to go.  We don’t have to know exactly how you will get there, but you do have to take one step every single day, or as often as possible to make it happen.

 Action

Nothing happens without action.  Don’t talk about it; do it! When you can take consistent action in the right direction and work on the most valuable tasks, you can accomplish anything you want.  Most people underestimate the power of focus, determination, and action. When you’ve found a goal that sets your soul on fire and makes joy pump through your veins, it will be almost impossible for you not to take action.

For me, it was improving the lives of children who face challenges and lives that are difficult without intervention.  I felt like I had to do it, but didn’t know where or how to start.  Quickly, I learned that excuses, fears, or obstacles could not stand in the way. It has been in the journey that I have learned to be the happiest.  I have failed so many times, but still I persist.

 Determination

It wasn’t until I got this fire inside me that I started making progress. Something funny happens when you make the choice to live a happy life. It’s almost as if the universe conspires to help you. Learning how to live a happy life keeps coming back to the decision… to actually do it. Our lives will never be perfect and the stars will never accurately align. The “perfect” circumstances we need… will not occur until we actually take action.  It is each of us who has to take the first step.  It can’t be done for us.

Follow Your Passion

Most of us know what our heart yearns for, but we are afraid to go after it.  It is often the thing that we’re afraid of doing, but desperately want to do, that is our passion and purpose in life.  I remember a few years ago before I started writing as a profession.  I was afraid that I had nothing to contribute to the world with my writing and I was afraid of the fact that I wasn’t good enough.

Fortunately, I stood up to my fears.  I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way of doing what I love.  Amazingly, as I started writing, dozens of people read and responded to my writing.  As of right now, tens of thousands of people read my words every single month.

I sincerely believe that the fears we have about going after our passion are unfounded. They are there to challenge and to see if we are truly serious about living a happy and fulfilling life.  It is scary, but I’d say that living a life full of excuses and fear is worse than going after your dreams.  So what if you fail?  You are living the life of happiness… in the pursuit.

 LIVING LIFE REAL…  BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE

The reason everyone is wished a “Happy” New Year is quite special. It is because we hopefully grasp the simplicity of the concept that in the new year, as opposed to the old one, we can all literally wipe our lives clean of all the negatives… and start fresh. The new year can be one of personal change and growth. How amazing is that?

The wonderful thing about being human is that all of us have the power of “choice.” This applies to everything in our lives, basically from the moment we enter adulthood. Before that time we live under the dictates of adult “supervision.” To hold another accountable for either the good and/or bad in our own lives is ridiculous. It is also disrespectful to our Creator. In my writings over the past two decades, I have never professed to have all the answers, but I do have a great deal of human interaction, experience, and an academic background that speaks for itself. I AM MADE OF MY OWN CHOICES and I am proud of that fact.

I share my own insight and path in hopes that it helps others too. It has by the huge amounts of positive feedback I get at lectures, in person, and via email. However, we all have the right to CHOOSE our own path. I have never had all the answers and never will.

Think of it! We can choose how we live our lives and be in full control of the decisions we make each and every day. Each sunrise we are offered a brand new opportunity to start over with our choices. Each new year, we also get to start over! See Ya’ 2021! No one can make us stop being in another’s life; there must be a reason(s) and it is based on personal choice. No one can force us to eat or drink too much unless we want to; it’s our choice. No one can make us good, productive people. It is also, our choice.

Likewise, no one can make us whole, happy, and a contributor to the lives of others. We must find that path ourselves. With this gift of CHOICE comes great responsibility. It is true…no one knows what goes on in another’s life. That goes in both directions. May we all choose the higher ground for this clean, unblemished year.

Happy New Year! May we all live it well

THE GREATEST GIFT!

Last year, this particular piece was read by thousands of readers . It was published a few weeks before Christmas. The emails that I received were so heartfelt and touching.

It seems that we often get caught up in the dynamics of everyday living; so, we forget that the simplest gifts and kindnesses, during the holiday season, are the ones most appreciated/ remembered by others. This year, in the aftermath of “protests” … followed by riots in Missouri, New York, and California et al. regarding basic differences among how we view decisions in life, it seems this piece might be relevant ,yet again.

I grew up in New York and taught high school/college for the majority of my career in inner-city New Jersey and then… Charleston, S.C. after I read an ad in a prominent northeastern newspaper that read: ” Teach in one of America’s most beautiful cities, the unteachable, the unreachable. My blood ran cold. The northeastern geographic area, I believe, helped mold me for the challenges/ tests of teaching. I speak softly, but carry a very big stick. Hurting others is never o.k., but giving of oneself … even if it’s done with NY/NJ attitude… is the norm. There have been many requests to “repost” this particular Blog. As we leap full force into the holiday preparations and festivities, let us all strive to love and do unto others in thought, word, and deed… not just in physical gifts.

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Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for reuniting with family and friends, for tinsel and brightly decorated packages. But mostly, Christmas is for love. I lose sight of this, sometimes. We all do. Before I left teaching , one of my students… a student with wide, innocent eyes and a soft, gentle laugh gave me a wondrous gift for Christmas. Jamal (I will call him that), was a fourteen year old student who lived with his aunt, a very bitter woman, greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s son. She never failed to remind Jamal , if it hadn’t been for her generosity, he would be homeless . Still, with all the scolding and abuse at home, he was a sweet and gentle young man.

I had not paid any singular attention to Jamal, until he began staying after school each day (at the risk of arousing his aunt’s anger, I later found out) to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Jamal spoke to me mostly of his mother. Though he had been quite young when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman, who always spent time with him.

As Christmas drew near however, Jamal failed to stay after school with me. It was clear to me that I had looked forward to his coming after school. When many days passed and he still continued to leave hurriedly from the room, at the end of class, I stopped him in the hall one afternoon. I merely asked him why he no longer helped me in the classroom.

I told him how I had missed him, and his large, brown eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, “Did you really miss me?” I explained that he had been my “best helper” … ever! “I am making you a surprise,” he whispered confidentially. “It’s for Christmas.” With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from my classroom door. He didn’t stay after school anymore … continuing to rush out of my room, each time he had class with me.

Finally, came the last school day before Christmas Vacation. Jamal crept slowly into the room, late that afternoon, after the buses had already left. He had his hands concealing something behind his back. “I have your present,” he said shyly… when I looked up. “I hope you like it.” He held out his hands and there lying in his large palms was a tiny, wooden box. “It’s beautiful, Jamal. Is there something in it that I should see?” I asked, opening the top to look inside.

“Oh, you can’t see what’s in it,” he replied, “and you can’t touch it, or taste it, or feel it, but it will make you feel good all the time. It will make you safe, ’cause you said you live all alone… and I worry about you.” At the time, I was single.

I gazed into the empty box. “What is it, Jamal,” I asked gently, “that will make me feel so good?” “It’s love,” he whispered softly, “and my mother always said it’s best when you give it away.” He turned and quietly left my room.

Since then, I have kept a small box, that is made of scraps of wood on the mantle in my living room and only smile as inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows… when I explain to them that there is love in it.

Yes, Christmas is for celebration, parties, and laughter. It’s also a time for wondrous gifts. But mostly, Christmas is for love. Perhaps, we can all be Jamal and give each other love and understanding this year.

Jamal, I have never forgotten you!

A central meaning associated with the Tree of Life is how life itself began. It further symbolizes the origins of all creation and origination and how everything is interconnected and dependent on each other. I like that as an explanation of our own lives.

The Tree of Life symbol shows us how LIFE is created, becomes real, and then nourishes other forms of life. So, then how does a writer, such as myself, come to manifest him or herself as a writer? Where/what is your Tree of Life? How do we create our writing and then bring it to life, nourishing ourselves and other living beings? I have chosen to do it most often in my Blog entries; in this way, I hope to reach the largest audience.

We design our own Tree of Life as a way to bring our dreams/ideas to fruition. We don’t go in “search of” someone else’s Tree of Life… we create a personalized design that brings us both satisfaction and fulfillment. Hopefully, we are not only bringing enjoyment to others, but things to ponder, as well. It is obvious from my writings that I have several passions in Life.  Foremost, however, is the Welfare and Health of children. All Children!

Start with investigating the design and symbolism of The Tree of Life for yourself. You may discover along the way a more suitable design for you: the Medicine Wheel, the Trinity, or the Labyrinth, etc. You get the idea. Choose a symbolic and/or mythical design and think about how it can be used to generate creativity and nourishment for your own ideas and creations. These ancient and widely used symbols offer up hidden and personal methods to not only explore our lives, but how we might live fully and with purpose.

In my novel, MEN CAN BE MEAN… the title is actually a pun on MEN CAN BE ME(a)N, ah yes.  I used “fairytales” and “parallels” as symbolic guides to write my story. In my non-fiction work, BARE THOUGHTS, my thoughts are “bare” for all to see and also, for some, “bear” because many have chosen to turn away from getting involved themselves because it’s often easier to “exist,” rather than to get involved with difficulty. Humans often hurt humans. Also, in my daily writings, I rely on the Tree of Life and Religious Cross to bring fruition to my writing ideas. I want to reach with my thoughts (akin to branches/ arms) as many people as I can. Often, it’s similar to a much-needed hug. I hopefully give lots of hugs to my readers.

The world is a garden of symbolic gestures and invitations to help us become who we already are destined to be. Writers, Artists, Business Leaders, Educators, Laborers, etc.

Find your inspiration and soar! There are no limits.

http://www.suebrownauthor.net

Be Humble and Kind; but most of all… BE HAPPY!

by Sue Brown

HAPPINESS ROCKS!

When you think about “happiness” … you may  think of the future in some way. Covid finally ending! The dream vacation coming up, the promotion you are working towards at work, the baby that is on the way, or the sixth date with someone new in your life. ( Thank goodness, I’m beyond that point!)

But happiness can also be found in the small things of a regular day.

So, today, look for it. Take just a few minutes and apply one of the ideas below and see how it brightens your day.  I’m thinking it just might.
One minute of appreciation

Take a minute, sit down and just reflect on what you appreciate and love about your partner, or a friend… or even… a family member!  This will fill you with gratitude and redirect your focus to the positive of things.

 Express your appreciation

Tell that partner, family member, or friend what you came up with. It will brighten his or her day. As his or her face lights up with a big smile ( you can also see it through a phone call) … you’ll feel happier too because emotions are contagious. (I’ve caught it once or twice myself!)

 Take a few minutes to see how you can help someone out

Offer some practical help, some good advice, look something up for them, be encouraging and supportive,  or just lend an ear.

Slow down

Walk and move slower for just a few minutes. Let your thoughts slow down. Use the minutes to enjoy what is happening all around you. Truly take it in with all your senses. There is so much simple wonder missed each day because we are preoccupied with our thoughts and plans for the future. Live in the now!

 Be the smile you want to see in your world 

Smile more towards the people you meet and you’ll get more smiles back. You’ll feel better. They will too. Actually, it’s contagious and they will probably smile more towards the other people they meet that day. So, don’t wait for other people to smile at you… be the smile you want to see in your world instead.

 Make someone else happy

Don’t stop at just smiles, give someone a big hug. Give him or her a small gift of some kind. Ask them their name! Cook their favorite food if they have had a bad day.
Actually, you can start your own day with setting a low bar for happiness. Now, that’s a good thought.

As you open your eyes and wake up to a new day tell yourself: Today, I will have a low bar for happiness!”

I have been using this one for quite some time now and it makes the ordinary day… well, just happier. I take fewer things for granted: my food, the weather, my life… and often pause to appreciate them more.

 Be the day you want to see

Don’t wait for someone else to create the day you want to have. Instead, get the ball rolling yourself. Take action and take the first steps forward. Many of us are now wearing “Fit Bits” or similar to measure the day’s activities.  Imagine that you are the “creator” of the day you want to experience in mood, accomplishments, and happiness!  You are.
 Say “Yes” to something new

Maybe try something you haven’t eaten before. Listen to a new song or album. Experience a new author or movie. Go see a new sport.  You get the idea. By actively going outside of what is normal for you or your comfort zone you’ll discover new, wonderful things in life quite often.

Get rid of your “should have” thoughts

The should haves in life can really drag happiness and energy down and make everything feel like heavy work. Do  you really have to do all of those shoulds on your “to-do” list? Or are you maybe stuck in a rut and are doing some of those things just out of habit?

Ask yourself one of my favorite questions: Will this matter in five years? Or even five months?

By zooming out like this you make it easier to see the true value of doing something. You see it for what it really is. Your questioning makes it easier to simply relax and say no to doing something because you realize that it isn’t that important  Do what you deep down believe is the “right thing.”

Instead of letting quick and judgmental words come of your mouth, be understanding.

Instead of snacking on some candy eat a fruit or drink a glass of water. Hard, right?

When an impulse inside of you wants you do something that you know deep down isn’t right for you then pause, be still for a few moments. The impulse will pass and you can  easily choose to take the action you know is right in this situation.

Then appreciate that you did the right thing, give yourself a pat on the back, and see how good it all feels. Continue to do this and you’ll help yourself to build stronger self-esteem.

Enjoy your life, enjoy your day!  Be Happy!