EASTER WEEK during COVID 19

http://www.suebrownauthor.net

KEEPING A DIARY… OF THANKS!

I found this exercise in a book on Zen living; it’s one of my favorites.  Just take a notebook and start writing down the things you’re grateful for.  Start with the obvious and work from there.  Easy, huh?

Be grateful for having food, water, and a roof above your head.  Simple, right?  If you woke up at 5 A.M. and can’t go back to sleep, be grateful for getting to see the sunrise.  If you’re facing a challenge, be grateful for the opportunity to learn from it.  I can’t help but learn something new all the time.  Sometimes the lesson is painful. but it is a lesson none the less.

You don’t have to write every day, but make sure you open your journal at least once a week.  It can be very easy to indulge in self-pity, blame, and anger, but appreciating what you have will help you stay positive.

Things Get Better

When you’re struggling,  grieving, or suffering from heartache… the pain can feel unbearable.  Even in everyday life, the weight of a little things can be heavy indeed.

But always remember the Proverb: “This too shall pass.”  Your negative feelings won’t last forever. I have learned from experience that there really is a light at the end of every tunnel.  It might not happen today or tomorrow, but you’ll feel better eventually.

When you understand and accept the tumultuous nature of life,  it’s a lot easier to stay calm and relaxed – even in the hardest of times.

Mental List of Awesomeness

Having healthy self-esteem keeps anxiety at bay, improves personal relationships, and encourages optimism.  If you don’t appreciate yourself enough – or are feeling down – try making a mental list of “awesome” stuff you’ve done recently.

Example: Went for a jog/ walk… instead of watching TV, helped a friend, made an excellent presentation at work. etc. etc.  Make a written list if you want and don’t be modest!

You’ll find that, as you go over your good/healthy actions (which also are A-W-E-S-O-M-E) and choices, you start to feel great about yourself.  It’s hard not to when you remind yourself how amazing you are!  Hey, if we’re not going to cheer ourselves on… then who?

What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

It’s easy to become worried over the little things: the human mind can blow things way, way out of proportion. I personally am guilty of that. To stop that from happening, always ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen?

Chances are, “The worst” isn’t that bad.  You’ll still be fine if you don’t ace tomorrow’s presentation/ test.  You may get into an argument with your significant other, but usually there’s a meeting of the minds and things actually improve in the relationship. You get the idea.

Sure, it would be better if things went according to plan, but sometimes they don’t. When you’re no longer afraid of any outcome, you can focus on having fun and getting things done.  Don’t wind yourself up for no reason!

Reach Out and Help Someone

We live in a culture that encourages self-centeredness.  Even our buzzwords:  self-help, self-promotion, self-esteem – reflect our obsession with this. But if you want to feel great… then try “giving” to someone else!

Donate a few dollars to charity; it can change someone’s life.  Pick up trash on your walk at home or on the beach; it’s respect for Nature and fellow Man… and everyone wins. Call a long spoken to friend/ relative, if even for a few minutes, it will make his/her week. Buy food for a local Food Bank.  The list is lengthy.

Simple, simple things mean so much.

It takes very little to help someone out. When you make a big difference with just a few minutes – or dollars – you’ll always remember how important and amazing you are. And with an attitude like that, it’s hard to be anything but positive!

FINAL COUNTDOWN to OVERCOMING A CHALLENGE! YOU GOT THIS!

Just take a notebook and start writing down… the things you’re grateful for. Start with the obvious and work from there.  See, not so hard. Positive Life!

Be grateful for having the basic things: food, water and a roof above your head. Simple, right? If you woke up at 5 A.M. and can’t go back to sleep, be grateful for getting to see the sunrise. If you’re facing a challenge, be grateful for the opportunity to learn from it.

You don’t have to write every day, but make sure you open your journal at least once a week. It can be very easy to indulge in self-pity, blame, and anger, but appreciating what you have will help you stay positive.

Things Get Better

When you’re struggling, grieving, or suffering from heartache… the pain can feel unbearable. Even in everyday life, the weight of a little things can be heavy indeed.

But always remember the Proverb: “This too shall pass.” Your negative feelings won’t last forever. I have learned from experience that there really is a light at the end of every tunnel. It might not happen today or tomorrow, but you’ll feel better eventually.

When you understand and accept the tumultuous nature of life, it’s a lot easier to stay calm and relaxed – even in the hardest of times.

Mental List of Awesomeness

Having healthy self-esteem keeps anxiety at bay, improves personal relationships and encourages optimism. If you don’t appreciate yourself enough – or are feeling down – try making a mental list of “awesome” stuff you’ve done recently.

“Went for a jog instead of watching TV”; “helped a friend”; “made an excellent presentation at work.” Make a written list if you want and don’t be modest!

You’ll find that, as you go over your good/healthy actions (which also are A-W-E-S-O-M-E) and choices, you start to feel great about yourself. It’s hard not to when you remind yourself how amazing you are! Hey, if we’re not going to cheer ourselves on… then who?

What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

It’s easy to become worried over the little things: the human mind can blow things way, way out of proportion. To stop that from happening, always ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen?

Chances are, “The worst” isn’t that bad. You’ll still be fine if you don’t ace tomorrow’s presentation/ test. You may get into an argument with your significant other, but usually there’s a meeting of the minds and things actually improve in the relationship. You get the idea.

Sure, it would be better if things went according to plan, but sometimes they don’t. When you’re no longer afraid of any outcome, you can focus on having fun and getting things done. Don’t wind yourself up for no reason!

Reach Out and Help Someone

We live in a culture that encourages self-centeredness. Even our buzzwords – self-help, self-promotion, self-esteem – reflect our obsession. But if you want to feel great , try giving to someone else.

Donate a few dollars to charity; it can change someone’s life. Pick up trash on your walk at home or on the beach; it’s respect for Nature and fellow Man and everyone wins. Call a long spoken to friend/ relative, if even for a few minutes, it will make his/her week. Buy food for a local Food Bank. Simple, simple things mean so much.

It takes very little to help someone out. When you make a big difference with just a few minutes – or dollars – you’ll always remember how important and amazing you are. And with an attitude like that, it’s hard to be anything but positive.

 

During the PANDEMIC 2020, (also simultaneous with the Lenten Season) , YOU GAVE OF YOURSELF and therefore did not GIVE UP!

Let Our New Found Strength be our own PERSONAL PANDEMIC.

   Each day, we all have the chance to start over. That’s a powerful thought!  Many days, we let that opportunity slip by.  However, during this imposed quarantine period (be it self-ordered or out of necessity), we have lots ol time to reflect, improve, and move forward into a new direction.

   Imagine the freedom of actually wiping the slate clean of all the negatives in our lives, Past and Present,  and instead… focus only on the “positives.”  We all have positives… even if initially we don’t look at them that way.   This opportunity is offered to all men …everywhere.  It makes us connected in a very basic way.  WE sometimes are connected in negative ways, such as the current Pandemic,  but more often we can be connected in Positive ways i.e. donating: time, money, or services,  praying for all, or helping others in very simple ways.   Sometimes, this concept is forgotten or dismissed. Yet, it might be the most meaningful thing we are given in Life.

It is often difficult to unwrap a new beginning and start each day fresh because it brings memories and situations that might be painful and scary.  Maybe a loved one has recently died or has been diagnosed with an illness. We might even be the one who is ill and we feel frightened and alone.  Perhaps, we have lost a job or our home and we are uncertain of our family’s security.   Or… occasionally, our burden is a wrong that was done to us over the last few years or perhaps, it’s something we did to another person and we are now shouldering the guilt of our actions.  Real situations: real life. It is called “Past” for a reason.

Here’s the amazing part.  It is virtually impossible not to find something good in even the most challenging of situations.  It’s difficult to see sometimes, but it’s always there. My own personal belief is that we can not control what is done to us, our individual tests and challenges by others, Nature, and our God, but we always have a choice in how we react to those tests and challenges.  The current Pandemic is our current challenge.

It appears as basic as accepting the things we can not change combined with a quiet determination to rise above our adversities as a stronger and wiser person.  It is also our opportunity to act both honorably and responsibly not only for ourselves, but for others while we find our way.  Very simply, it’s Integrity or doing the right thing regardless of the outcome.  Sometimes it is difficult, but it can be accomplished.

 Choice is what separates humans from other mammals; that’s empowering. 

Even if we personally fail in one test or challenge…a new one will come along in which we get to choose all over again.  Maybe, it’s so we finally get it correct.  LIFE, as given, isn’t easy.  Often, we do not like the apparent choices as they are presented to us and sometimes, they seem unfair, but they are choices nonetheless.

With each and every positive choice we make for ourselves and towards others we further define who we are as Human Beings and make the world a better place. Every day we are given this opportunity to perfect ourselves. It is an absolutely liberating thought and practice. We are not defined by what has been done to us in the past, but instead we are what we have chosen to do for ourselves… both now and in the future.  We can all choose that on any given day. One need not have an expensive or lengthy list… to experience life’s amazing gifts.

Maybe we can just slow down and recognize LIFE for the precious gift that it is…  all on its own. A good place to start would be if we all recognized the small things of our day that touch our soul. We so often overlook these because we are too busy or we yearn for something greater and grander. Actually, just embracing each day to the fullest is pretty amazing all on its own!  The sun as it is setting in the west on a glorious evening, the extra hour of sleep curled up next to the one we love on our day off, a walk in nature, or helping a total stranger- are wonders that can be enjoyed by all.

It’s pretty safe to say that all of us lost something this past year.  If we lost family members or friends, it is important to honor their memory by becoming strong within ourselves. What a wonderful tribute to them if we actually become better people in spite of our grief over their passing. Reaching out to others in need: financially, emotionally, or spiritually can be done in their name. We further define their life by our own positive choices.  Also, there is great healing in personal growth of our own.

Not everyone suffers a financial loss but we are tested in other areas. This is a given; no one has it all.  All too often tests and challenges are in the area of relationships.  Perhaps, a relationship at work or within the family didn’t go exactly the direction it should have in the past.  Words were said to each other and actions directed at another person that might seem irreversible. There’s that old joke about… nothing is certain but death and taxes.  Actually, it is a good lesson. Negative actions towards each other can cease and hurtful words can be corrected by heartfelt apologies.  It appears that nothing worthwhile is ever easy and this will be no exception.

What is amazing about our time here on Earth is that with each positive action we choose, we have the opportunity to leave our own Human Footprint in time.  Let this be the time that our lives aren’t so much about what we have…or what we’ve lost, but rather what we’ve given and therefore found.  Take that Pandemic!

SPRING FORWARD to a NEW LIFE! 2020

   Each day, we all have the chance to start over. That’s a powerful thought!  Many days, we let that opportunity slip by.  However, during this imposed quarantine period (be it self-ordered or out of necessity), we have lots ol time to reflect, improve, and move forward into a new direction.

   Imagine the freedom of actually wiping the slate clean of all the negatives in our lives, Past and Present,  and instead… focus only on the “positives.”  We all have positives… even if initially we don’t look at them that way.   This opportunity is offered to all men …everywhere.  It makes us connected in a very basic way.  WE sometimes are connected in negative ways, such as the current Pandemic,  but more often we can be connected in Positive ways i.e. donating: time, money, or services,  praying for all, or helping others in very simple ways.   Sometimes, this concept is forgotten or dismissed. Yet, it might be the most meaningful thing we are given in Life.

It is often difficult to unwrap a new beginning and start each day fresh because it brings memories and situations that might be painful and scary.  Maybe a loved one has recently died or has been diagnosed with an illness. We might even be the one who is ill and we feel frightened and alone.  Perhaps, we have lost a job or our home and we are uncertain of our family’s security.   Or… occasionally, our burden is a wrong that was done to us over the last few years or perhaps, it’s something we did to another person and we are now shouldering the guilt of our actions.  Real situations: real life. It is called “Past” for a reason.

Here’s the amazing part.  It is virtually impossible not to find something good in even the most challenging of situations.  It’s difficult to see sometimes, but it’s always there. My own personal belief is that we can not control what is done to us, our individual tests and challenges by others, Nature, and our God, but we always have a choice in how we react to those tests and challenges.  The current Pandemic is our current challenge.

It appears as basic as accepting the things we can not change combined with a quiet determination to rise above our adversities as a stronger and wiser person.  It is also our opportunity to act both honorably and responsibly not only for ourselves, but for others while we find our way.  Very simply, it’s Integrity or doing the right thing regardless of the outcome.  Sometimes it is difficult, but it can be accomplished.

 Choice is what separates humans from other mammals; that’s empowering. 

Even if we personally fail in one test or challenge…a new one will come along in which we get to choose all over again.  Maybe, it’s so we finally get it correct.  LIFE, as given, isn’t easy.  Often, we do not like the apparent choices as they are presented to us and sometimes, they seem unfair, but they are choices nonetheless.

With each and every positive choice we make for ourselves and towards others we further define who we are as Human Beings and make the world a better place. Every day we are given this opportunity to perfect ourselves. It is an absolutely liberating thought and practice. We are not defined by what has been done to us in the past, but instead we are what we have chosen to do for ourselves… both now and in the future.  We can all choose that on any given day. One need not have an expensive or lengthy list… to experience life’s amazing gifts.

Maybe we can just slow down and recognize LIFE for the precious gift that it is…  all on its own. A good place to start would be if we all recognized the small things of our day that touch our soul. We so often overlook these because we are too busy or we yearn for something greater and grander. Actually, just embracing each day to the fullest is pretty amazing all on its own!  The sun as it is setting in the west on a glorious evening, the extra hour of sleep curled up next to the one we love on our day off, a walk in nature, or helping a total stranger- are wonders that can be enjoyed by all.

It’s pretty safe to say that all of us lost something this past year.  If we lost family members or friends, it is important to honor their memory by becoming strong within ourselves. What a wonderful tribute to them if we actually become better people in spite of our grief over their passing. Reaching out to others in need: financially, emotionally, or spiritually can be done in their name. We further define their life by our own positive choices.  Also, there is great healing in personal growth of our own.

Not everyone suffers a financial loss but we are tested in other areas. This is a given; no one has it all.  All too often tests and challenges are in the area of relationships.  Perhaps, a relationship at work or within the family didn’t go exactly the direction it should have in the past.  Words were said to each other and actions directed at another person that might seem irreversible. There’s that old joke about… nothing is certain but death and taxes.  Actually, it is a good lesson. Negative actions towards each other can cease and hurtful words can be corrected by heartfelt apologies.  It appears that nothing worthwhile is ever easy and this will be no exception.

What is amazing about our time here on Earth is that with each positive action we choose, we have the opportunity to leave our own Human Footprint in time.  Let this be the time that our lives aren’t so much about what we have…or what we’ve lost, but rather what we’ve given and therefore found.  

WE ARE STRONG; WE ARE ONE;WE ARE SURVIVORS!

     The shelves are bare; but our souls are bear!  This current world health shake-up will ultimately make us stronger as we heal from this test.  I believe it will make us stronger as countries that will (and can) interact to solve this Pandemic. It will make us stronger as people as we have been created in the image and likeness of God.  After all, we are in the season of Lent and as America braces for the full thrust… we as Christians et. al. just can’t ignore the coincidence of this time of year.  The whole reason for any experience in our lives, is to call forth a remembrance of who we really are as an object of infinite potential. We are created as… All That Is and All That Is Not. This is a proven fact and it is why we are Human Beings.

If we stop trying to control, move past, go beyond, cast out, go above, or run from the possibilities of ‘negative’ experiences… then there is no reason for them to control us anymore. It’s usually the negative ones that we dwell on the most.  In other words, the instant we realize and accept that everything in our life is equal, then we recognize that we cannot go beyond or move past negative situations. They are part of our life!

I have to work really hard at this. The negative situations are equal to us, since we are infinitely everything. That’s an empowering thought.  Hence, we need to become accepting to just let go (OR, “Let Go; Let God,)  and allow the idea that the possibility of a ‘negative’ situation has the potential to happen at anytime!   You can become perfectly content with that idea, since you soon realize that every ‘negative’ situation is created, sometimes by ourselves, and allows us to grow! Now, that idea I like.
Think of Reality  (or this Pandemic) as a mirror, then we must change ourselves, and the World around us, in order to see the change in the mirror.  A famous quote says, “Be the change you want to see in the world” this is exactly what that quote means. When you take responsibility for all of your reality, then you give yourself the power to change anything within your reality. Cool, huh?

We can adopt this perspective into reality, by first looking around at everything we see and hear in our reality right now.  When you “close your eyes” in the moment, you are telling your mind to refresh your viewpoint. Now, open your eyes and look around you again, except this time see everything as if we are looking into a mirror.   What are we supposed to learn from this?

Everything you are now seeing or hearing is a reflection of the mirror within you.  Everything starts from within and is reflected outwardly. If we don’t like what we see… in any aspect of our life… the reality and negative situation is ours to alter.

I’m a believer!  Be Careful, Be Safe, Be Confident that, “This too shall pass.”

OUR SOULS ARE VIRUS FREE!

New post on Spirit Unbroken; living life to the fullest!

IMINATING NEGATIVITY IN LIFE works with all TESTS!

by Sue Brown

     The shelves are bare; but our souls are bear!  This current world health shake-up will ultimately make us stronger as we heal from this test.  I believe it will make us stronger as countries that will (and can) interact to solve this Pandemic. It will make us stronger as people as we have been created in the image and likeness of God.  After all, we are in the season of Lent and as America braces for the full thrust… we as Christians et. al. just can’t ignore the coincidence of this time of year.  The whole reason for any experience in our lives, is to call forth a remembrance of who we really are as an object of infinite potential. We are created as… All That Is and All That Is Not. This is a proven fact and it is why we are Human Beings.

If we stop trying to control, move past, go beyond, cast out, go above, or run from the possibilities of ‘negative’ experiences… then there is no reason for them to control us anymore. It’s usually the negative ones that we dwell on the most.  In other words, the instant we realize and accept that everything in our life is equal, then we recognize that we cannot go beyond or move past negative situations. They are part of our life!

I have to work really hard at this. The negative situations are equal to us, since we are infinitely everything. That’s an empowering thought.  Hence, we need to become accepting to just let go (OR, “Let Go; Let God,)  and allow the idea that the possibility of a ‘negative’ situation has the potential to happen at anytime!   You can become perfectly content with that idea, since you soon realize that every ‘negative’ situation is created, sometimes by ourselves, and allows us to grow! Now, that idea I like.
Think of Reality  (or this Pandemic) as a mirror, then we must change ourselves, and the World around us, in order to see the change in the mirror.  A famous quote says, “Be the change you want to see in the world” this is exactly what that quote means. When you take responsibility for all of your reality, then you give yourself the power to change anything within your reality. Cool, huh?

We can adopt this perspective into reality, by first looking around at everything we see and hear in our reality right now.  When you “close your eyes” in the moment, you are telling your mind to refresh your viewpoint. Now, open your eyes and look around you again, except this time see everything as if we are looking into a mirror.   What are we supposed to learn from this?

Everything you are now seeing or hearing is a reflection of the mirror within you.  Everything starts from within and is reflected outwardly. If we don’t like what we see… in any aspect of our life… the reality and negative situation is ours to alter.

I’m a believer!  Be Careful, Be Safe, Be Confident that, “This too shall pass.”

OUR DESTINY… AS GIVEN!

Be Who You Were Meant to Be

We all want to learn how to live a happy life.  For a long time I wondered what it took to be sincerely happy and have inner peace.  As I pursued money, relationships, and career success, I thankfully realized that happiness doesn’t come from the outside; happiness comes from within each of us.  Eureka.

It is something that is present all the time within you and me.  Imagine the layers of an onion being your negative beliefs, thoughts, and fears. As we peel away the layers, (what you are not), we eventually reach the core (who you really are). We are all here on Earth to find meaning and purpose.

Learning how to live a happy life is not about locking yourself in a closet and meditating for the rest of your life. We as human beings are designed to set and achieve goals, so we need goals to feel fulfilled. These are all only a piece of the pie of living a happy life, but we have to keep in mind that it is not the external things in our lives that make us happy, but rather what is going on inside of us.

MAKING the CHOICE TO CHANGE

It all begins with the choice to be happier, to start studying the commonalities of “happy people.”  What are they doing? How do they think? How do they face challenges?  Most people want something for nothing.  If your life isn’t as good as you want it to be right now, you are the only one that can change it for the better.

We have to become clear about what we want in life and who we want to be.   We do not have to settle for mediocrity. Almost every limit in our lives we set ourselves.  Think about that for a moment.  Most of the negative beliefs we have, we have learned from society, friends, and even parents.

These beliefs can all be eliminated.  We can take control of our own destiny and be happy.  We can shape our future, to be healthy and productive.  Now, I realize that we can’t “control” everything in life, but we certainly can create a happy life if we choose to.

 Taking Responsibility

You alone are responsible for your life. You may think you have “valid” excuses/ reasons of why you’re not as successful or happy, as you should be.  Guess what?  Our excuses don’t matter, because they won’t change anything.  Do you want to give your excuses the power of controlling your life?  Or do you want to reclaim the power that you’ve always had?  It is God-given to all of us.

We can whine, blame, and make excuses all we want, but it will only keep us stuck. If we look at some of the happiest and most successful people, you will notice that most of them did not come from privileged backgrounds.   In fact, many of them had to face brutal challenges in order to get to where they are. The ironic thing is that it wasn’t their problems or challenges that held them back from a happier life.  The drama and problems we face in life, can help us grow as human beings if we have the courage to face them and get through them.

 Personal Growth

Learning how to live a happy life is about learning how we work.  It is up to us to take control of our own being.  By that I mean our thoughts, our health, and the path we follow.  We can go after dreams and we can make a living doing what we want if we just make the decision to do so.

It really isn’t any harder than that.  Learning how to live a happy life… almost happens on its own when you make the decision that you are going to be happy and not miserable.

 Goals

When we make the decision to be happy, the next step is to set clear goals of what we want to achieve in each of the main areas of our life.  The main areas in life are: health, work, relationships, and personal growth!

Use the SMART criteria, which stands for:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Realistic
  • Timely

I used these in teaching and my students would later contact me and say they still found them powerful in their chosen careers, personal lives, and future goals.

Metaphorically, many choose to sit in the passenger seat of the “car” that is their life. They let the car go where it wants to go and then complain when it ends up in a wrong place or worse yet, a ditch!  Successful and happy people take control of the wheel and steer the car where they want to go.

Small Steps

Never underestimate how much you can accomplish just by taking one single step, each day, toward your goals.  Learning how to live a happy life is about focusing on the tasks that have the biggest impact on your life.  It is up to us to focus on changing our individual habits and beliefs.

When we set goals, we then know the direction we need to go.  We don’t have to know exactly how you will get there, but you do have to take one step every single day, or as often as possible to make it happen.

 Action

Nothing happens without action.  Don’t talk about it; do it! When you can take consistent action in the right direction and work on the most valuable tasks, you can accomplish anything you want.  Most people underestimate the power of focus, determination, and action. When you’ve found a goal that sets your soul on fire and makes joy pump through your veins, it will be almost impossible for you not to take action.

For me, it was improving the lives of children who face challenges and lives that are difficult without intervention.  I felt like I had to do it, but didn’t know where or how to start.  Quickly, I learned that excuses, fears, or obstacles could not stand in the way. It has been in the journey that I have learned to be the happiest.  I have failed so many times, but still I persist.

 Determination

It wasn’t until I got this fire inside me that I started making progress. Something funny happens when you make the choice to live a happy life. It’s almost as if the universe conspires to help you. Learning how to live a happy life keeps coming back to the decision… to actually do it. Our lives will never be perfect and the stars will never accurately align. The “perfect” circumstances we need… will not occur until we actually take action.  It is each of us who has to take the first step.  It can’t be done for us.

 Follow Your Passion

Most of us know what our heart yearns for, but we are afraid to go after it.  It is often the thing that we’re afraid of doing, but desperately want to do, that is our passion and purpose in life.  I remember a few years ago before I started writing as a profession.  I was afraid that I had nothing to contribute to the world with my writing and I was afraid of the fact that I wasn’t good enough.

Fortunately, I stood up to my fears.  I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way of doing what I love.  Amazingly, as I started writing, dozens of people read and responded to my writing.  As of right now, tens of thousands of people read my words every single month.

I sincerely believe that the fears we have about going after our passion are unfounded. They are there to challenge and to see if we are truly serious about living a happy and fulfilling life.  It is scary, but I’d say that living a life full of excuses and fear is worse than going after your dreams.  So what if you fail?  You are living the life of happiness… in the pursuit.!

 LIVING LIFE REAL…  BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE

PEOPLE OF SUBSTANCE!

When I think about where I have been in life and where I still have to go, I get nervous. Have I done enough? It is not exactly clear to me when I realized that my life here on Earth had an actual purpose, but it became clear to me that it does. The path that I have been following for many years, even if I didn’t recognize it, is to make the world a softer, kinder, and gentler place. A person of substance is what I tryto be.  I repeat… try.

It is apparent to others how much I “love” people. I really do. It is one of my many Blessings that I have been given during my life and one beyond compare. How is it possible that one whom had minimal affection/love as a child grows up to be caring and compassionate? Perhaps, it was acquired over time, but what I know clearly is that people react to kindness and caring. Is it possible that this fact is so often overlooked?

Then one day, I got it! Most important to others is that we be a man or woman of substance. What exactly is that? Paraphrasing the definition:

“A person of substance is someone who strives to live a life that means something and who chooses to participate rather than be a spectator in life in order to be part of the solution as opposed to the problem.”

But what would make us actively participate and try to seek new roads? Initially, we need to find a cause outside of our own being. For some, that’s uncomfortable. While it is natural and accepted that we humans are self-absorbed and often self-centered… a cause that benefits just one person and would hardly make a dent on the significance scale. That’s according to some people; I disagree. No cause is too small. Doing something for the greater good means to pursue causes that:

  • Make the world a better place
  • Increase the quality of life for others
  • Right a wrong
  • Prevent the end of something good
  • Initiate something good

Participation

Active participation requires courage and people of substance must have it! While the frail soul is safe from failure, they will never taste victory either. So, people of substance take risks. They try and they fail, but they never grow weary of trying. U.S President Teddy Roosevelt said:

     “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

People of substance take responsibility for their actions successful or not. They wholeheartedly put themselves at the center of the action and fully accept whatever the consequences that the action may bring.

Solutions

People of substance know that there is no middle/neutral position on anything. They identify with the belief that, “If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.” Similar to wants outnumbering means, problems outnumber solutions and real problem solvers in life are few and far between.

Good problem solving between competing interests typically requires a person of integrity with complete objectivity and solid values. The solution seeking person of substance will have had significant experience in both the good and the bad.

They will have “met with triumph and disaster and have treated those just the same” as the IF poem, by Rudyard Kipling, so accurately says. No doubt they will have lived an experience rich, full, and varied life. Choosing to experience life outside of our comfort zone in order to gain life experiences that can be used in solving problems would appear to be another action that would lead to becoming a person of substance. Sometimes, it is hard.

Becoming

It appears to me that becoming anything involves a series of decisions followed by necessary actions. Becoming a person of substance is no different. It starts for all of us the same:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference. (Robert Frost)

We each make hundreds of decisions each day. We choose between frivolous and important, between what’s best for us and what’s right, between short and long term betterment, between politeness and wholeheartedness, between apathy and commitment, between self-centered and the greater good, between avoiding and accepting responsibility, between risk avoidance and risk management, between a life of leisure and a life of challenge, between timidity and courage, and between deceit and integrity.

I believe the person of substance chooses the less path travelled… second option, at each and every divergence.   It is indeed the harder road, but one well worth it.

BE WHOLE, BE HAPPY, BE YOU!

Be Who You Were Meant to Be

We all want to learn how to live a happy life.  For a long time I wondered what it took to be sincerely happy and have inner peace.  As I pursued money, relationships, and career success, I thankfully realized that happiness doesn’t come from the outside; happiness comes from within each of us.  Eureka.

It is something that is present all the time within you and me.  Imagine the layers of an onion being your negative beliefs, thoughts, and fears. As we peel away the layers, (what you are not), we eventually reach the core (who you really are). We are all here on Earth to find meaning and purpose.

Learning how to live a happy life is not about locking yourself in a closet and meditating for the rest of your life. We as human beings are designed to set and achieve goals, so we need goals to feel fulfilled. These are all only a piece of the pie of living a happy life, but we have to keep in mind that it is not the external things in our lives that make us happy, but rather what is going on inside of us.

MAKING the CHOICE TO CHANGE

It all begins with the choice to be happier, to start studying the commonalities of “happy people.”  What are they doing? How do they think? How do they face challenges?  Most people want something for nothing.  If your life isn’t as good as you want it to be right now, you are the only one that can change it for the better.

We have to become clear about what we want in life and who we want to be.   We do not have to settle for mediocrity. Almost every limit in our lives we set ourselves.  Think about that for a moment.  Most of the negative beliefs we have, we have learned from society, friends, and even parents.

These beliefs can all be eliminated.  We can take control of our own destiny and be happy.  We can shape our future, to be healthy and productive.  Now, I realize that we can’t “control” everything in life, but we certainly can create a happy life if we choose to.

 Taking Responsibility

You alone are responsible for your life. You may think you have “valid” excuses/ reasons of why you’re not as successful or happy, as you should be.  Guess what?  Our excuses don’t matter, because they won’t change anything.  Do you want to give your excuses the power of controlling your life?  Or do you want to reclaim the power that you’ve always had?  It is God-given to all of us.

We can whine, blame, and make excuses all we want, but it will only keep us stuck. If we look at some of the happiest and most successful people, you will notice that most of them did not come from privileged backgrounds.   In fact, many of them had to face brutal challenges in order to get to where they are. The ironic thing is that it wasn’t their problems or challenges that held them back from a happier life.  The drama and problems we face in life, can help us grow as human beings if we have the courage to face them and get through them.

 Personal Growth

Learning how to live a happy life is about learning how we work.  It is up to us to take control of our own being.  By that I mean our thoughts, our health, and the path we follow.  We can go after dreams and we can make a living doing what we want if we just make the decision to do so.

It really isn’t any harder than that.  Learning how to live a happy life… almost happens on its own when you make the decision that you are going to be happy and not miserable.

 Goals

When we make the decision to be happy, the next step is to set clear goals of what we want to achieve in each of the main areas of our life.  The main areas in life are: health, work, relationships, and personal growth!

Use the SMART criteria, which stands for:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Realistic
  • Timely

I used these in teaching and my students would later contact me and say they still found them powerful in their chosen careers, personal lives, and future goals.

Metaphorically, many choose to sit in the passenger seat of the “car” that is their life. They let the car go where it wants to go and then complain when it ends up in a wrong place or worse yet, a ditch!  Successful and happy people take control of the wheel and steer the car where they want to go.

Small Steps

Never underestimate how much you can accomplish just by taking one single step, each day, toward your goals.  Learning how to live a happy life is about focusing on the tasks that have the biggest impact on your life.  It is up to us to focus on changing our individual habits and beliefs.

When we set goals, we then know the direction we need to go.  We don’t have to know exactly how you will get there, but you do have to take one step every single day, or as often as possible to make it happen.

 Action

Nothing happens without action.  Don’t talk about it; do it! When you can take consistent action in the right direction and work on the most valuable tasks, you can accomplish anything you want.  Most people underestimate the power of focus, determination, and action. When you’ve found a goal that sets your soul on fire and makes joy pump through your veins, it will be almost impossible for you not to take action.

For me, it was improving the lives of children who face challenges and lives that are difficult without intervention.  I felt like I had to do it, but didn’t know where or how to start.  Quickly, I learned that excuses, fears, or obstacles could not stand in the way. It has been in the journey that I have learned to be the happiest.  I have failed so many times, but still I persist.

 Determination

It wasn’t until I got this fire inside me that I started making progress. Something funny happens when you make the choice to live a happy life. It’s almost as if the universe conspires to help you. Learning how to live a happy life keeps coming back to the decision… to actually do it. Our lives will never be perfect and the stars will never accurately align. The “perfect” circumstances we need… will not occur until we actually take action.  It is each of us who has to take the first step.  It can’t be done for us.

 Follow Your Passion

Most of us know what our heart yearns for, but we are afraid to go after it.  It is often the thing that we’re afraid of doing, but desperately want to do, that is our passion and purpose in life.  I remember a few years ago before I started writing as a profession.  I was afraid that I had nothing to contribute to the world with my writing and I was afraid of the fact that I wasn’t good enough.

Fortunately, I stood up to my fears.  I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way of doing what I love.  Amazingly, as I started writing, dozens of people read and responded to my writing.  As of right now, tens of thousands of people read my words every single month.

I sincerely believe that the fears we have about going after our passion are unfounded. They are there to challenge and to see if we are truly serious about living a happy and fulfilling life.  It is scary, but I’d say that living a life full of excuses and fear is worse than going after your dreams.  So what if you fail?  You are living the life of happiness… in the pursuit.!

 LIVING LIFE REAL…  BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE